1. Use your tongue
actual tears I hate you patrick
if you have a pet and i’ve ever visited your house: i’m sorry
I need to kiss you so badly. One of those kisses where I’m pressing against you as much as possible and my hands are in your hair and moving down your back, clutching to you in any way I can, kissing you as deeply as possible and thinking you’re mine, mine mine.
I loved you more than you deserved, fucker.
Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.
curves on women are great, but curves on final exams are really what get me going
dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out
That is quite possibly the weirdest and most carefully thought out pickup line I’ve ever read. I applaud you.